just when i thought i had lost my mind

so yesterday was a really rough day with the kids ~ the summer of little structure and almost no normal routine has really taken a toll on all of us ~ katie and matthew were fighting with each other, hitting, saying really mean things and i completely lost my temper for like hours ~ i couldn't wait for bedtime because i just wanted the day to be over so another one, hopefully better, could begin ~ then a miracle happens just when i thought i had lost my mind ~ i had sent the big kids upstairs to brush teeth, put on pj's, pick out books ~ when i started to walk upstairs about 5 minutes later, i hear katie's authoritative voice start to speak to matthew ~ i stopped dead in my tracks sure that i could bust her saying something horribly mean as she had been doing seemingly all day ~ instead what i hear goes something like this:

Katie: Now Matthew, I want you to sit here by me and repeat after me. Dear God, thank you for making the world and everything in it. Thank you for making my family. Thank you for sending Jesus to save us from our sins. Amen. (Matthew perfectly and obediently repeated every single word)

Katie: Now Matthew, let's talk about sin. Do you know what sin is?

Matthew: What does sin mean?

Katie: Sin is when you do something really mean or really horrible, like when the boy at camp hit you in the stomach today. That's a sin. Jesus died on the cross for our sins.

Matthew: Why did Jesus die?

Katie: (pause) Well, he died on the cross to forgive us for all of our sins. He took them all away and died so we wouldn't have to.

Matthew: He took all of them away?

Katie: Yes, Jesus forgives us and saved us from all the sins.

well ~ i had such a surge of different emotions and i just sat on the stairs and cried ~ i was ashamed of myself for having gotten so mad at them and for yelling so harshly ~ i was so proud of katie for the depth of her understanding of the gospel at age 6 and for sitting matthew down to teach him what she has learned ~ and i was so thankful for the miracle that they are ~ these beautiful gifts from God, who often make us lose our minds, are truly miracles who God sent to us to love, nurture, teach and just do the very best we can with ~ we ask so much of ourselves as moms and daily lose sight of all the good that we do with and for them ~ despite the noise, yelling, name calling and rivalry, God has placed in their hearts an understanding of His love and the seeds have been planted ~ they're getting it...they're really getting it...